If you are just entering college you may be confused by the absence of the “popular kids” and the nerds that sit alone at lunch. College, particularly college students, are very different from high school. Here are the five people that you will meet in college.
- The Know-It-All (a.k.a. Poindexter)- On your first day of class this is the person you will notice the quickest and will grow to dislike even faster than that. He will dissect the syllabus ad nauseam, correct the most mundane of typos, and get a cramp from raising his hand throughout the entire class. The know-it-all is easy to spot. He will be the one with the $400 glasses and the book bag on wheels.
- The Stoner Hippie (a.k.a. Bud)- If you take any philosophy or art class, you will be surrounded by this species of college student that exists everywhere except for Brigham Young University. Once you see the stoner hippie in your class, prepare to see your class be constantly derailed by long philosophical and incoherent ramblings about how Socrates relates to Dora The Explorer and ham sandwiches. The stoner hippie is also easy to spot by the stained t-shirt and the red, half-open eyes.
- The Wise Ass (a.k.a. Conan)- For everything the above two people say, the wise ass has a play on words to throw into the mix. It may seem funny at first but it’s a long semester that will make you resent his obvious puns and annoying interruptions. You can identify the wise ass before he makes his first “that’s what she said” crack by the obviously ironic graphic tee and constant smirk.
- The Frat Guy (a.k.a. Greek) - You will know the frat guy from the moronic frat cheer he will do on the steps of the building before coming to the class hungover and without a pen. Despite spending most of his time trying to pick up girls in class, the frat guy will still do better than you in class thanks to the know it all that lets him copy his answers in return for admission into the frat.
- The Sorority Girl (a.k.a. Sorostitute) - The sorority girl is the chick you may remember from the cheerleading squad in high school. She is usually pretty, blonde, and giggles out loud at her text messages. If you are looking for a quick lay you should invest in a 40 Oz. bottle of Colt 45 and dependable condoms.
Poindexter in action
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