Why spend all your time learning calculus and philosophy of the Ancient Romans when you can be spending your tuition dollars on something useful, like these ten classes that you wish your college offered.
1. The Theory of Family Guy
There is something so much more brilliant in the works of Seth MacFarlane than there is in those of Plato.
On The Syllabus:
- Makings of a Fart Joke
- Best Uses of Flashbacks
- Sticking it to Fox
2. Female Anatomy (With Jokes)
For one, those textbooks with pictures of 70’s earth mama bushes need to be replaced with a free Playboy reader (minus the articles). Secondly, class participation and quizzes involve formulating the best “That’s What She Said” joke.
On the Syllabus:
- Best Uses of an Anatomy
- What the f*** is that?
- The Babewatch Series (Vols. 1-3)
3. The Perfect Beer
Thirty classes, thirty types of beer. Which beer is really the king of beers?
On the Syllabus:
- Once you go black, will you go back?
- Miller vs. Coors: Which tastes most like piss?
- Class trip to Sam Adams Brewery
4. The Many Uses Of Marijuana
Find out the intricacies of growing and the conditions that pot can treat so that you have better excuses. Mandatory test on identifying types of pot based on key characteristics.
On The Syllabus:
- The Perfect Brownie
- Cleaning Your Piece
- Best Band To Listen To Stoned
5. Studies in Megan Fox
Despite a young career, Megan Fox has already given us so much. The class will focus on what level of hot she belongs in and how she manages to salvage terrible films.
On The Syllabus:
- How Short-Shorts Are Meant To Be Worn
- How to wear dirt as an accessory
- Is Jennifer’s Body the best film ever?
6. The Kevin Smith Collection
Screenings and discussions of the most relatable films of all time. Which Clerks movie is better? Is Jay the most iconic character of all time?
On the Syllabus:
- Why is Ben Affleck such a bad actor?
- Potential storyline for Good Will Hunting 2
- Best Jason Lee role
7. The Coolness of James Bond
Through decades, James Bond has been the coolest Brit to hit the United States since Winston Churchill. What has kept this series up? (Probably the chicks)
On the Syllabus:
- Hottest Bond Girl
- Coolest Bond accent
- How to wear a suit the right way
8. Argumentation: Best Superhero
Putting argumentation into important real world situations, this class focuses on logical conclusions to figuring out which is the best superhero ever. (Crib Notes: It’s Superman)
On the Syllabus:
- Hottest Outfit: Wonder Woman or Catwoman
- What happens when Superman has sex
- Why Captain America developed a drinking problem
9. How To Get The Most Money From The Least Work
Enough with the preparation for the hard work you’re supposed to endure after graduation, learn how to get the most profit from the least work. Class covers opening one of those eBay stores to inventing the next Snuggie.
On the Syllabus:
- How much work is too much?
- Which country to keep your untaxed income in
- The perfect amount of sleep
10. How to Get Keanu Reeves Famous Without Talent
Ever since the Matrix, every man has wondered how to get Keanu Reeves famous and rich with as little talent as him, this class will break down the fourth-wall.
On the Syllabus:
- Similarities to Matthew McConaughey
- What not to do with your hands on film
- How not to deliver a line
Necessary image of Megan Fox
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