8 Ways to Know You’ve Joined the Wrong College Fraternity

Joining a fraternity is a time old tradition for many guys entering college but how can you figure out which frat to join? While there isn’t a foolproof way to figure out which is the right frat to join, here are eight signs that you have joined the wrong frat.

1.    Wine Runs, Not Beer Runs

• If your frat prefers a wine tasting to a good old kegger, prepare to spend a lot of time being tied to trees and discussing post-modern art. If your idea of a fun Friday night is drinking organic kiwi juice and eating tofu escargot you’re in luck. If not, get out while you can or you’ll never see another burger till you graduate.

2.    Your Frat Brothers Sat Alone In High School Lunch

• If you just joined a frat run by the kid with the lazy eye and one shoe bigger than the other, get ready for an initiation consisting of reciting the first 150 Pokemon in order and seeing who can drink the most Mountain Dew and not hate themselves in the morning.

3.    They Go Looking For A Date On Campus…

• But go to an all-male college. If this is the case, run now or buy a lot of mouthwash and ice packs, your call.

4.    The Frat Mascot is Chupacabra

• Points for originality but you may have ventured in too deep. You might want to ask the guy with the prison tats and a scar across his cheek standing next to you if you have joined a frat or MS-13.

5.    Instead of Fundraisers You Have Bank Runs

• Look on the bright side, they have an excellent education program in prison. And you’ll always have a date.

6.    Your Initiation Is To Be Spanked While Wearing Leather Chaps And A Ball Gag

• If they’re motto is “Don’t Knock It Till You’ve Tried It,” don’t take it as a dare.

7.    Their Idea Of A Good Time Is Protesting An Abortion Clinic

• Hey, nothing wrong with spending your peak years dressed in slacks and knocking on people’s doors early in the morning to tell them about how great Christianity is (just ask any gay person how great Christianity is). Look at it this way, you’ll have plenty of friends for the Rapture. Keep drinking that Kool-Aid.

8.    On Pledge Week, They Sacrifice a Goat

• Suddenly protesting abortion clinic doesn’t seem like a terrible idea. Sure your frat brothers might be a little…out there but black clothes are slimming…

Tagged as: college fraternity, College Humor, college laughs, college mistakes, frat house, joining a frat, wrong fraternity